Vampire Weekend

Today is Hallowe'en. For the first time in years I'm participating - rather than sitting in my flat and hoping that no kids come trick or treating. My window was egged by some kids a few days before Hallowe'en a few years ago. It wasn't the best neighbourhood.

I've got myself a mask and got a few things for my friends too. I feel really involved. I haven't been able to do any job-seeking stuff all day as I went out for coffee with a friend earlier. Quite a busy day, so this is brief.

I don't know if this is Dracula or a very demonic Richard Nixon

Russ Release

Yesterday I wrote about the absurdity of the Sachsgate. It's got even worse since. Brand has resigned and Ross has been suspended for 12 weeks. I blame The Daily Mail's campaign. I'll miss Brand's radio show/podcast but it hasn't been the same since Matt Morgan left. Morgan kept the show and Brand grounded.

I've yet to leave the flat today. I drank more than I'm used to last night, got in late and slept fully clothed under my duvet on the sofa. It seemed like a good idea until I woke up roasting hot about 5am. I couldn't get back to sleep after that and later spent the rest of the morning back on the sofa with duvet and last night's recorded TV. I can't remember the last time I was so knocked back by a hangover.

In my unthinking state I uploaded my CV for a job I have no chance of getting but I thought "what the hell. Might as well give it a go and see what comes from it." It resulted in my CV being uploaded to other job sites so I feel I have done something positive in my ruined state. I resisted the temptation to get an iPhone today as I've prioritised getting a job first and paying bills. To try and raise some extra money I've just spent ages adding loads of magazines on ebay. I don't expect to get much.

Might go out tomorrow when I'm back to rude health.

Only joking

Yesterday I grabbed a book to read on the toilet. I'm in the middle of reading another book but I have pages to go in it before the next chapter stop so I thought I'd get something where I could read the introduction. I picked out Manufacturing Consent. There was no topicality in mind when I took the book off the shelf, it's just something I've owned for over a year without reading (like many other books). However, it does seem to tie in the with Sachsgate. I'm fascinated by celebrity and fame so I'm not immune to its appeal but at a time when the financial markets are rising and collapsing on an almost daily basis, the US Election is less than a week away and most people are concerned about staying warm this winter it is absurd that the top story is about two famous people who left a lewd message on the answermachine of an old man who was famous in the seventies.

I heard the original show on BBC iPlayer last week and thought the comments inappropriate and wondered how they could let a pre-recorded show go out for broadcast. Additionally, Brand's apology was minimal this week as he still insisted it was funny. I've read My Booky Wook, as a fan of Brand, but one thing that stood out was his apparent lack of remorse for any of his actions if they provided an anecdote for the book. I think that sometimes people can be oversensitive and as someone who tries to be funny himself, I realise it's usually the most innocuous remark that causes most offence or upset. When I say innocuous, it's usually something which strikes a personal chord with the recipient. Sometimes I want to say, "it was only a joke and you shouldn't take it so seriously" and at others times I'm forced to apologise because I've upset someone I know.

Ultimately, humour and impulse was the root of Brand and Ross's message and to see them vilified in the respectable tabloids (Mail and Express) is absurd. It does provide a nice distraction from what's really going on.

Zero

Today was the day where I had a specific job-seeking thing to do. Today was the day I had an appointment with Right Management consultants. Today was the day I woke up feeling shit with the onset of a cold. I really didn't want to cancel and hoped by being out and about I'd feel better. I'm not sure where I've caught a cold from because I haven't had enough interaction for a week. I don't think handing a tenner to the dry cleaner yesterday would result in an exchange of germs.

I went to Leeds, not feeling great but able to function. The meeting was a quite a disappointment. I emailed them my CV last week and hoped that I'd get constructive feedback but the woman I saw hadn't even looked at it and it will be dealt with now that I'm "on the programme" and when I go on a two-day course in two weeks' time. It was a general introduction to the effects of redundancy and job seeking but I think I've been quite prepared for it for months. They seem to have lots of resources available via their website so I'll make as much use of that as possible. I came straight home and daydreamed away the afternoon with a bag of M&Ms.


In an effort to expel my cold I played football in the freezing cold for an hour. I hope it works. I didn't score but I enjoy the runaround and didn't aggravate my troublesome groin.

Another lapse

I forgot to write something yesterday. I wasn't particularly busy, I just forgot. I think I had planned to do something but I was distracted by a few emails in the morning. Other than posting a book I'd sold on amazon and collecting my dry cleaning I didn't have much to do.

I spent quite a bit of time yesterday working on some music. I'd come up with a new bit on guitar on Sunday night so I played around with it in the afternoon and later in the evening. Hence I forgot to write something here. It's a really "nice" piece of music which needs working on but I keep writing around the same set of chords (or chord relationships). Those being the tonic, the minor 2nd and major 5th (C, Dm, G or whatever key it's in). I need to find the secret chords.

This song mentions "secret chord":

Better day

I felt so much better today. I woke up feeling rested. I've felt slightly nauseous all day but still was in better mood than yesterday.

Liverpool's win made a difference. I didn't anticipate a win. I thought Liverpool were worthy of the victory. They didn't dominate the game as such but that isn't always what is required and what merits a win. The defence were resolute for most of the game, preventing Reina from having to make any substantial saves. That's not to say that there weren't scoring opportunities at the other end. It puts the team 3 points clear and it's the first time they've beaten Chelsea at Stamford Bridge for 4 years (and the first time anyone has beaten Chelsea at home for 4 years).

I've had a few texts during the day. Text messaging if often dismissed as the vestige of youth and bad grammarians but it makes me feel connected with the rest of the world - or my friends at least. I don't know if my friends and I would phone each other more often without texting but it's a fantastic way to stay in touch without the formality of a phone call. The same goes for email too.

I've just watched a Channel 4 Dispatches programme where Jon Snow met various people on the American West coast. One set of people were a community of people living organically just outside Portland. One of the women described herself as a "Communitarian". There's certain principles which I like the idea of, but I don't necessarily like the idea of participating in it myself. One of the things which is noticeable about this working from home malarkey is the lack of regular, or at least prolonged face to face contact. Yet, the idea of a prescribed society is somehow causes me to think, "I'll do what I want! Back off, you hippy!" That's not to say that I'm not part of a prescribed society and living on the outskirts of existence. But that is a much bigger question which requires another blog.

In order to prevent myself from atrophying I went for a run this evening.

Nada

A really boring day. Nothing's happened. Either I've been feeling the effects of last night's drinking or the prolonged inactivity is getting to me today. It feels like days on end without proper human contact even though that's not the case. I spoke to my Mum on the phone but it's not the same. I don't feel like doing anything either. I just feel like sleeping.
I'm going to do something productive tomorrow.

Into The Wild

This is what I should have written yesterday but I went out for a few drinks and completely forgot about it. Yesterday afternoon I thought I'd make best use of the weather and go on a lengthy cycle ride.

There's a cycle track that runs from just outside York for about 12 miles in a scale model of the solar system. I've ridden along it before and thought it would make a good afternoon out. It wasn't the ideal afternoon I'd anticipated.

I'd been riding for a couple of miles when two fighting dogs ran into my path and, despite my slamming on the brakes, I may have clipped one or both of them. I stopped and apologised to the owners. One of whom said something about me going to fast and as I cycled off I muttered sarcastically. However, instead of sarcastically saying "Oh yeah, like it was my fault" I said, "Yeah, like it's the dog's fault" It was the dogs fault. Ah well.

I stopped after a few miles to take this picture:

It was all very nice. I stopped in Riccall for a can of Diet Pepsi and a Kit Kat Chunky. I thought I'd need the energy for the return journey. It was much colder coming back. Thankfully, past experience had taught me to bring an extra jacket and a pair of gloves. What past experience hadn't taught me - or I hadn't learnt from was to bring some kind of tools. The chain on my bike snapped in two. Luckily I had got back into York and didn't have to push it too far. The chain breaking was probably due to a lack on maintenance on my part and not the superhuman strength I possess in my legs. I snapped the gear changer on my bike last year during a standard ride. So, now I have a broken bike. Apparantly, I should be able to fix it myself.

When I got back I received a text from a friend asking if I wanted to meet for a few drinks. Hence writing this today. I'm sure it might have been more pensive had I written it yesterday evening but them's the (chain) breaks.

Losing one's inhibitions

I spent almost all of yesterday afternoon refining my CV. It's changed quite a bit from what I originally had. I've got a CV and Interview handbook which I haven't read in its entirety but the bit I read said to keep CVs short and punchy because it's just a way of getting an interview. As a result of this I think I made it too sparse.

I've found myself second guessing what someone reviewing it might think and therefore have been afraid to state the obvious because they'll see through it as a cliche. I've realised that they have no idea who I am and I need to state the obvious or they'll assume that I can't do it.

Additionally, I found it hard to be immodest for fear of sounding like someone on an Apprentice audition tape. Whenever I had to write self-appraisals I was always quite good at selling myself and was uninhibited. I think the reason for the change is twofold: I knew the person who's be reading it so there was an understanding that one had to say certain things; and secondly, I've been waiting for a redundancy for so long that I've lost track of what is needed to work. All my resolve has been spent not on bettering myself but on occupying myself for days at a time.

I found it really tiring doing and re-doing my CV for hours on end and have given myself the day off today. I feel a little justified because I've arranged appoints with recruitment/consultancy firms next week. However, I might arrange to see some more tomorrow. Time is money.

Something to say but not a state to say it

I have vowed to write something here everyday. I had worked out a few things to write about compiling a CV earlier but between then and now I've had a few impromptu drinks and my thought process is somewhat hindered. Therefore, a better and more cohesive post will appear tomorrow.

Or, later this evening if I wake up properly.

This is hard work

My printer arrived today. I knew I'd need one for printing my CV and (potentially) job applications. After 8 years with a computer it was about time I got one. It's Wireless which is not essential but it's pretty cool. I spent the entire afternoon printing my CV, tweaking it and printing it again. It feels like the hardest I've worked in months. I should have felt relaxed playing football but I felt more absent minded - how I usually get when I'm tired.

I'm trying to wind down now. The printer also works as a scanner/copier etc so I could scan in some old photos. But that seems like too much hard work right now.



My CV is definitely much better.

Back a little too soon

I had to go into the office tonight so check some dates that I did certain projects, got promotions etc. I left it til 5.30 so that most people would have left but there was still quite a few people there. It was strange, to say the least. I'd only been away for the weekend but it was as if I'd immediately shut myself off from it and I didn't belong there.

That's not to say it was a bad experience. When I was walking back I realised I wasn't my normal rushed self and didn't case about people walking slowly in front of me or what time it was. When I got back I was sitting here watching Alistair Cooke's America and I thought, "What a great opportunity this is". I have so much free time to explore. It's a shame I can't explore geographically.

I played around with my guitar tonight with different reverb and distortion settings. I quickly found myself playing slide guitar (without a slide) in open G and really got caught up in it. I was doing a few of the riffs from Led Zep's In My Time Of Dying and found myself smiling in that way I hate when people pull faces playing guitar. I wasn't quite like this:

Led Zeppelin - In My Time Of Dying

A hip hop heart beat away

Can this really be the someone who could be president of the USA?

Sunday, bloody sunday... flies by

Today has gone pretty quickly.

I went out last night with a friend who works in recruitment. He eeked out some information from me on my past/current job which made me realise that I haven't really sold myself on the latest incarnation of my CV. When I got up this morning I wrote a couple of pages of notes of what I should include. I couldn't bring myself to type it all up immediately but I've just spent the past couple of hours doing so. I've still got a bit to do (remembering dates for a start) but it does make me look a lot better than I did before.

It hasn't all been work work work though as I have watched four episodes from Series 1 of The Office, the deleted scenes and the Making Of. Plus some additional telly and texting. That said, working for two hours on a Sunday night means I'm still keen. I don't want to take some rest and then redo my CV and look for jobs in earnest because I'll become complacent and keep procrastinating. I've also cleaned so I've got no excuse there either.

Anyway, the CV. I've done what I can for now. I'm going to sleep on it. Or at least watch Stephen Fry's America at 9pm first.

Why am I here?

This is my first day of a notice period for redundancy. I have just over three months to find another job before I have to start using my redundancy payout to live. Therefore, I thought I'd write this for two reasons: first is to document the process but secondly, and most importantly to give me something to do every day. I will try and write something here at least once a day on a variety of subjects including myself, politics (the US election), football (soccer) and anything else that catches my eyes and ears.

I've chosen the title Kredit Krunched as an obvious nod to the global financial crisis and the fact that by not currently having a job, how it affects me. I should note for the record that I chose voluntary redundancy and, for months, it wasn't a given that I would be made redundant. The reason I opted for it was that I was sick of the job I was doing, I was bound to be made redundant eventually as the company I worked for had a continued policy of offshoring jobs and the money was too hard to turn down - having accrued large debts over the past eight years (and for three years at college before that).

After eight years I felt ambivalent about leaving. I think this is more because I had to sneak out and take unofficial gardening leave until I get another job. Only then will I be able to say a formal farewell to some of the people I worked with over the years. When I say ambivalent, I wasn't overcome with emotion perhaps because I knew it's the right thing.

I'm a bit worn out from a few nights out this week but otherwise feeling joyous. I'll see how things change as the boredom begins to mount.